And they lived happily ever after.
Most of the storybooks end that that way. But in reality, it doesn’t end that way.
Because marriage is a journey. You’ll bound to face obstacles such as family issues, financial matters or even arguments over non-trivial matters that is detrimental to your marriage.
“Hey have you done the laundry?”
“Did you sweep the floor?”
“Can you help me out on doing this?”
“Don’t just sit there and do nothing.”
It’s these minor things in life that made us feel not loved by our partner. The differences in habit and culture that comes from different family background are actually killers in marriage.
Look, marriage is not the agent nor the perfection of you. Marriage doesn’t do shit for the both of you, in fact, you need to do shit to make things work. To make your love work.
This is why it’s not a guaranteed living happily ever after, you need to work hard for it. It takes effort to groom the relationship, to remain excited and understanding about one another. Most important of all – it takes patience.
Like every thing else, marriage has inertia, there will be times where you cannot access to your love, and at times, as frustrated as it may sound, it’s marriage – not love – that keeps you married. It happens.
As absurd as it may sound, marriage has no baseline to compare to. There is no standard of what is good, bad, and acceptable what not. There is no one that can offer you a perfect advice on your marriage, there won’t be a right answer to it. You are the one who is responsible to manage your marriage.
So, why get married?
I know she’s perfectly imperfect.
But I love her.
She cries a lot, but that’s okay. It’s her way of relieving her stress. She complains a lot, that’s okay too. She just wants my attention and listen to her.
She lacks of confidence, that’s why she needs me to encourage her. She used to be afraid of dogs, and now? We have a black Labrador named Charcoal and she’s fine with it.
She laughs over some of the most random matter and hey, I love that.
As a matter of fact, I’m not perfect too. For her I’m an unromantic ego prick which consistently challenges her patience (and no, she’s not okay with this).
There will be resentful moments that challenges our patience – our unconditional love – our willingness to sacrifice for one another.
But that’s okay, because we signed up for this.
I think I missed her a lot, Suee is now outstation at Italy and fortunately, she’ll be back by tomorrow. Can’t wait to pick her up at the airport!